My goat with horns...

I got a goat this Christmas. See, now that’s what you call a gift!!! Thing is, this goat ermmm….how to I say this? Um……blush, blush…cough… um… it self-fel.l.ates* au kwa msamiati wa Kiswahili, yajichezea LOL!

Lydia (my new sister), thinks it’s all my fault that it’s carrying on like. You see, due to its habit of figting with other goats, I segregated from all the other goats (and cows! ) and it's now in its own Bantustan Goatstan.

My girl Carol maintains that we should not under any circumstances eat it. Apparently, that’s how weird diseases spread from beast to man (wakina Marburg fever and Ebola).

Not to worry, it was never meant to be nyama choma, always the start of my Goat Empire. So whatever meat I serve you at me digs, it's totally a'ight- ain't nothing haramu nyama going on at chez Mendi's. Halal all the way.

Happy 2009 folks!

*I had to split up that word as I don’t want to be what people find when they Google that key-word. I really don’t.